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Jokes:
1, The Uncle Frank Joke,
Its Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf wheen he realises he's forgotten to tell his wife that the washing machine repair man is coming round at noon. So he heads to the clubhouse and phones Home. "Hello?" says a little girls Voice,
"Hi, honey," says Bib. "Is Mummy there?"
"No, Daddy. She's up stairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, Honey!"
"Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mummy!"
"Ok then, Here what I want you to do.. put the down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mummy and Unlce Frank, that my cars just pulled up outside the house."
"Ok Daddy."
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did what you said Daddy!"
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mummy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the ug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."
"Oh my God.. and what about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and not he's dead too."
There is a long Pause before Bob says,"Swimming Pool? Is this 817614?"
2, Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef!
3, Gratuitous Scouse Gag
This big Scouser is sitting at the bar when a gay guy walks in. The Gay guy looks at this 6ft 4in Scouser and thinks, Yeah, Pretty tasty, and sits down next to him. A minute later the gay guy asks the scouser if he wants a blow job. The Scouser gets up and punches the gay guy smack in the face. With blood pouring out everywhere he kicks him again before picking him up and chucking him out of the pub.
He sits down at the bar and carries on drinking. The bartender goes up to him and asks "I've never seen you like that. What did he say to you?", "Dunno" replys the scouser calmly, "Something about a job"
thats all at the moment still updating, Last Updated 4/2/02